there are a lot of things running through my head right now. I have a wonderfull new girlfreind and things cant get any better right now, but there is one thing that stops me from going the next step and telling her how much i really care and feel about her. And that one thing is someone that i thought i would be spending the rest of my life with. But she broke up with me and moved on. That was four months ago. She called me last night crying because one of her ex boyfreinds commited suicide. I could have been a better person and actually talked to her about it but  I was a jackass to her instead. I just didnt understand why out of all people she would call me. And i still wonder that. Its like taking sombody that loved you with all there heart and soul and just completly ripping out there heart because of someone that they still cared about, like what we had meant nothing at all. It just killed me inside to hear her cry again. I know im not with her anymore but i do still care about her, not as strong as it used to be but the feelings are still there, what is left over that is. But i just cant stand to see her cry over anything. And if you read this (you know who you are) im sorry for being a complete jerk, and i want to keep our freindship going if thats possible. Its up to you. Im sorry for what you have been through and i want all your pain to stop.

whoa, i havent been on here in a while, i just saw your tag and was gonna tag u back and read that, and you were right, i shouldnt have called you, its not your job to try to help fix my fucked up life, i dont know why i ever even thought that, i just had alot on my mind, and i was alone, empty, again. I just wanted to fix things, go back to where it all started my life started to completly fall apart, and thats when i thought about you, after we broke up when things got bad, im not really for shure what exactly i was thinking when i called u.... i wasnt, thoughts, no my mind was frozen... in a numb stage... i guess.. any ways. sweet entry, made me feel better, helpd my day actually. thanks.